KRAMER: She was probably joking.
JERRY: No no, it was no joke.
KRAMER: She didn't have any?
JERRY: No. None.
KRAMER: (raising hand) She faked 'em all.
JERRY: (raising hand) Faked 'em all.
KRAMER: Well so she faked 'em, so what?
JERRY: The woman had an orgasm under false pretences. That's sexual perjury.
KRAMER: You know I heard her screaming from my apartment? She woke me up a few times.
JERRY: How did she do it? She's like Meryl Streep this woman. And I had to work the equipment. I'm not unskilled, I'm in the union. If she'd at least told me, maybe I could have done something about it.
KRAMER: Yeah I could have helped you out.
JERRY: What could you have done?
KRAMER: I could have given you some pointers. I know how to press those buttons buddy.
JERRY: I'm feeling very inadequate about the whole thing.
KRAMER: Aaaaah.
JERRY: Don't aaaaah! I'm supposed to do something with her later? I don't even think I wanna see her.
(The phone rings)
KRAMER: Giddy-up.
(Jerry picks it up)
JERRY: Hello... Oh hello Elaine.
(Elaine at her desk in her office)
ELAINE: So we're having dinner tonight?
JERRY: I don't know, I'm not really in the mood.
ELAINE: Why? What's wrong? You're not still thinking about this afternoon are you?
JERRY: What, the grilled cheese? Naaah, they always burn the toast.
ELAINE: Nooo, the other thing.
JERRY: Oooh that. Well...
ELAINE: Oh come on, Jerry. Making to much of a big deal about it.
JERRY: Yeah I guess. So you wanna meet at that place at seven thirty?
ELAINE: Okay.
JERRY: All right.
ELAINE: All right, see you later.
JERRY: Bye.
ELAINE: Bye.
(The Location stays at Elaine's office)
[location: Elaine's office]
(Elaine hangs up the phone; Rene walks passed the office)
ELAINE: Rene, can you come here a second? Let me ask you something: Ummm, have you ever... you know... faked it?
RENE: Yeah, sometimes.
ELAINE: Really, like when?
RENE: Like if we went to a Broadway show, if we had really good seats. (Elaine is sitting there, jaw opened shaking her head yes) Well you know, if it's enough all ready and I just wanna get some sleep.
[location: Jerry's apartment]
(Resume at the point Jerry hangs up his phone from the conversation with Elaine)
JERRY: I really don't feel like seeing her.
KRAMER: You know, I faked it.
JERRY: (confused) What?!
KRAMER: Yeah.
JERRY: You faked it? Why would you do that?
KRAMER: Well you know, if it's enough already and I just wanna get some sleep.
JERRY: Yeah, but why would you...
JERRY: No no, it was no joke.
KRAMER: She didn't have any?
JERRY: No. None.
KRAMER: (raising hand) She faked 'em all.
JERRY: (raising hand) Faked 'em all.
KRAMER: Well so she faked 'em, so what?
JERRY: The woman had an orgasm under false pretences. That's sexual perjury.
KRAMER: You know I heard her screaming from my apartment? She woke me up a few times.
JERRY: How did she do it? She's like Meryl Streep this woman. And I had to work the equipment. I'm not unskilled, I'm in the union. If she'd at least told me, maybe I could have done something about it.
KRAMER: Yeah I could have helped you out.
JERRY: What could you have done?
KRAMER: I could have given you some pointers. I know how to press those buttons buddy.
JERRY: I'm feeling very inadequate about the whole thing.
KRAMER: Aaaaah.
JERRY: Don't aaaaah! I'm supposed to do something with her later? I don't even think I wanna see her.
(The phone rings)
KRAMER: Giddy-up.
(Jerry picks it up)
JERRY: Hello... Oh hello Elaine.
(Elaine at her desk in her office)
ELAINE: So we're having dinner tonight?
JERRY: I don't know, I'm not really in the mood.
ELAINE: Why? What's wrong? You're not still thinking about this afternoon are you?
JERRY: What, the grilled cheese? Naaah, they always burn the toast.
ELAINE: Nooo, the other thing.
JERRY: Oooh that. Well...
ELAINE: Oh come on, Jerry. Making to much of a big deal about it.
JERRY: Yeah I guess. So you wanna meet at that place at seven thirty?
ELAINE: Okay.
JERRY: All right.
ELAINE: All right, see you later.
JERRY: Bye.
ELAINE: Bye.
(The Location stays at Elaine's office)
[location: Elaine's office]
(Elaine hangs up the phone; Rene walks passed the office)
ELAINE: Rene, can you come here a second? Let me ask you something: Ummm, have you ever... you know... faked it?
RENE: Yeah, sometimes.
ELAINE: Really, like when?
RENE: Like if we went to a Broadway show, if we had really good seats. (Elaine is sitting there, jaw opened shaking her head yes) Well you know, if it's enough all ready and I just wanna get some sleep.
[location: Jerry's apartment]
(Resume at the point Jerry hangs up his phone from the conversation with Elaine)
JERRY: I really don't feel like seeing her.
KRAMER: You know, I faked it.
JERRY: (confused) What?!
KRAMER: Yeah.
JERRY: You faked it? Why would you do that?
KRAMER: Well you know, if it's enough already and I just wanna get some sleep.
JERRY: Yeah, but why would you...
